With the recent stories of pirating off the coast of Somalia growing more intense, we’ve been thinking a lot about what we’d do in a situation like that, should it ever come to it. Last week, we arrived at a conclusion.

We are planning on each learning some key phrases in Somali that should help resolve the situation. Like, for instance, after they scream at us while boarding our boat we might hold up our hands and respond with, “No, we’re pirating you.”

Or, as I imagine us all tied up with our backs to each other, staring up at them, “No, you’re our hostages.” Or maybe, in perfect Somali, “No, we’re taking your boat.”

I don’t imagine we’ll need to really spend much time on Somali comprehension. I’m pretty sure if this tactic hasn’t already made them want to untie us and sit down for a drink, that they’re probably just yelling something boring at us, like, “what did you just say?” or maybe even, “do you think we’re kidding around here?”

Which, of course, sets us up perfectly for the final phrase we plan to learn, “Dudes (or whatever the local colloquialism is), do you think we’re kidding around?”

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2 Responses to Pirates

  1. Mollie says:

    They then would say, “We’re serious.”

    And then the final final phrase you learn has to be, “Red Dragon, dudes, we’re serious too.”

  2. Nick says:

    If I click on your google ads enough, will you be able to raise enough money for ransom?

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